If you were to ask a minister's wife what her life was like, I could almost guarantee it would sound alot like what I am about to write about. First off I am honored to consider myself a minister's wife even if it is not always easy. From a young age, like most girls, I thought I would marry a business man or even a military man but never a pastor. After meeting my husband he tried his best to explain to me what his life was like and being the daughter of a now associate pastor I thought I knew everything. I was way off. After we were married I quickly learned that our life was going to be much different than I though, not bad but different.
Many couples that are first married spend there days going to different places on dates or just staying at home enjoying a dinner for two. But for us we opened our doors to the neighborhood youth that needed a place to hang out or a meal to eat. It took me awhile to understand that this was the Lord's way of showing me my ministry. I thought I wanted a quite home where I would have other married couples over for dinner but instead was watching kids hang out in my living room playing video games. Over the years I have come to love these times because I think I would rather them be here than out on the streets doing who knows what.
Many couples can come home after work and put away their phones and assignments and relax. As a minister it is key that my husband have his phone on him at all times. You never know when you will get a phone call with someone in need. This too took sometime to adjust to but over the years I have not let it bother me as much. I realized that this was also an important part of his ministry to be available to council those who need a word of encouragement or to know where to pick up someone so they can come and worship at church. I am thankful that I have a husband who can put down the phone so he can help me when I need him or get down on the floor and play with our kids.
Many couples can go places and not think about who is watching them. As a minister's wife I am called to be set apart not only because I am his wife but because I am to be an example to others. This is a hard thing for me and for several other women out there. Sometimes I would love to just go somewhere and not wonder if the clothes that I am wearing or the expression on my face will be judged later on just because I am a pastor's wife. Even if no one is looking at me I always feel like I am walking with a big sign around my neck that says "pastor's wife." Please remember that we are sinners saved by grace and just like anyone else we will make mistakes.
Many couples can spend alot of time as a family. This was the most important thing to me when I accepted my husband hand in marriage. I wanted a family and I wanted to spend alot of time with him. As a minister he sometimes has to spend alot of time away from home. I quickly learned that our family was going to function differently and that I was going to do everything I could to keep us close. We make it appoint to see each other and work together not only because I am his wife but because his ministry is my ministry. We have our own routine that works for us and keeps us connected as a family. Once we had our children some things had to be altered but I make it a point that he gets to spend enough time with them even if it means hold off a little longer on bedtime or staying longer at youth event. You get out of a relationship what you put in.
I pray that anyone out there who is also in the ministry won't let it wear you down but that it would be something that glorifies our God. It should be a blessing to serve not a burden. I am honored to be a minister's wife because I have witnessed first hand how God is using my husband to reach out to others and bring them closer to Him.